April 28, 2008


I think some indie bands are a sick twisted joke. The skinny malnourished boys croon about how lonely they are while eying the crowd for their next groupie. Then there’s always that naive girl that feels like the lyrics are talking to her, talking about her and she believes in fairy tales and happily ever after’s. She stumbles towards the stage, awe in her eyes with an open heart and the band’s eyes overlook her in search of the girls that act disinterested.

I just don’t get it. I have guy friends that also complain about how lonely they are, but when they get with a girl that actually shows interest, they freak out. WTF. You wanted someone…. you get someone and then you freak out. BUT, BUT if a girl act disinterested she’s a fucking goddess.


Apparently, in this city, if you want someone, treat them like shit and they come panting back for more. How fucked in the head are people?

Humans are fucking WEIRD. Basically, as we grow up we're taught to be self reliant and all that shizzy yet there’s always that hint of “Oh you’ll find someone to spend your life with”. I just can’t deal anymore. It’s just bullshit. Who CARES if you find someone? Shouldn’t it be about your experiences in life seeing as how… it’s your life? I’m so tired of people bitching about how they’re lonely. I’m also tired of boys that build you up only to find that they just don’t have it in them to love.

Rad. Awesome. Then just tell me its sex and I’m good. Really. Why go on and on about how much you like a person and all that bullshit only to be emotionally unavailable? It’s such a waste of effort and time. If you’re just in to sex, awesome, I know where I stand.

No, this has not happened to me RECENTLY but it has happened to me. But a couple of dear friends have been jerked around enough to piss me off.

People can’t just be honest. I don’t get it. If you don’t like the person, FUCKING TELL THEM. If you do, then let them know.

But then again the boys that are usually jerks now became so due to a high maintenance cunt that cut off their balls and wore them in a jar around their skinny little neck. It turns into a vicious cycle of “I got fucked so I’m going to fuck someone over”. Yeah. Awesome logic.

It’s like cheating. If you don’t like the person that you’re with, break up with them. It’s that easy. Really. Just stop and think about it. If you’re tired of fucking the same person, let them know. It’s better then lying. I promise the pain of being dumped is so much easier to deal with then lies.

Ah rants. I’m just baffled at the lack of care people have while dealing with others. I’m also tired of the “lists”.


“My perfect significant other is this tall, and this skinny, and has this color hair and blahity fucking blah”

Really? You’re really going to be that specific because all those physical requirements are that important. Really? You couldn’t love a girl that has blue eyes and blond hair? Really? Eye color is that important?

What about just TALKING to someone? Yes, I understand that there are certain physical attributes that a person may find attractive, but it is so hard to go outside of them?

*shakes fist*

I just don’t get it unfortunately. Perhaps I’ve become too jaded. Right now I view love as an experience I want nothing to do with. I hate being vulnerable. I hate it. I don’t know if I have it in me to open up like that. I’m not saying I’ll never fall in love again, that’s just silly. It’s just… while I help glue everyone’s heart back together mine becomes more hardened and reluctant to ever be seen without armor. I’ve seen so many battle wounds that I don’t remember what the reward was. Someone to cuddle with? Someone to laugh with? I can do that with my friends.

What was the point of loving again?