February 9, 2009

Review - January 2009

I've decided that I'm going to start doing a monthly review with my muni passes as my headers just for fun.

So, January .... yeah not the best month. Quite a rocky way to bring in the New Year as my purse was stolen and I have broken every one of my resolutions. I'm trying to not beat myself up over that but what can I say, I'm a masochist. But I do believe that a few good things came out of the month.
  • I definitely improved my level of patience as I probably racked up about 8 hours of time on the phone with t-mobile trying to get my phone, get my phone to work, exchanging my phone because the camera wouldn't work and changing my plan.
  • I had my first fiddle lesson and discovered that it will also help with my patience as I start in 4/4 time and then speed it up to... whatever comes after that.
  • Had some mental breakthroughs which led me to face some not so pleasant things that occurred in my past. I am now on the road to accepting them, retraining my brain to not follow the path of pessimism and trying to deal with my body issues.
  • I learned to let go of my ideas of who people were and actually allowed myself to see who they really are.
  • Allowed myself to breakdown in front of someone and let them see me cry... after I eventually pulled the hood of my sweatshirt down lol.
  • I am becoming more comfortable with singing my own words and I try not to mimic the artists that I usually like to sing along with and just keep my own tone.
  • Started school and so far no mental breakdowns lol.
  • Did not have one panic or anxiety attack.
  • I am beginning to understand what a normal "high" and "low" are.
  • I am trying to breakdown the many walls and barriers I've put up. It's a slow process as I am doing it one brick at a time but I'm trying and that's all that matters.
  • I am determined to stay focused at work. I'm doing much better than I used to but I still need to improve that.
  • I began to force myself to look into a mirror and not cringe or focus on traits that I dislike.
  • I've begun to cook at home and bring my leftovers to work.
  • I'm beginning to set small goals for myself and not flog myself if I don't fulfill them. Rather, I try and focus more on fulfilling the same goal instead of just giving up all together.
Hrmm. That's all I can think of for now but I think that's a pretty good list. I know this post is a little late as it's February 9th (it's going to be a full moon people, prepare for madness) but I'll try and update at the end of the month from now on.

So yeah. There's my review. The end.


Chelsea said...

what's hilarious is that I read your whole last two totally awesome posts and when I got to the para which reads something like "I'm going to set small goals" my mind read "I'm going to sell small goats" I was like huh? shit WTF?! that's crazy!? Who sells small goats?! Weird resolution! Then I read it over. Ohhhh set small goals. Talk about a mental disorder..

Goof to hear from you girly! You been writing?

NerdOneirik said...

lol dude! I should get a small goat!! Yeah I have actually! Nothing big, just my cheesy... um... "story" that is kinda a fan story... ah ha. shhhhhhhhhh