February 9, 2009

Review - January 2009


I've decided that I'm going to start doing a monthly review with my muni passes as my headers just for fun.

So, January .... yeah not the best month. Quite a rocky way to bring in the New Year as my purse was stolen and I have broken every one of my resolutions. I'm trying to not beat myself up over that but what can I say, I'm a masochist. But I do believe that a few good things came out of the month.
  • I definitely improved my level of patience as I probably racked up about 8 hours of time on the phone with t-mobile trying to get my phone, get my phone to work, exchanging my phone because the camera wouldn't work and changing my plan.
  • I had my first fiddle lesson and discovered that it will also help with my patience as I start in 4/4 time and then speed it up to... whatever comes after that.
  • Had some mental breakthroughs which led me to face some not so pleasant things that occurred in my past. I am now on the road to accepting them, retraining my brain to not follow the path of pessimism and trying to deal with my body issues.
  • I learned to let go of my ideas of who people were and actually allowed myself to see who they really are.
  • Allowed myself to breakdown in front of someone and let them see me cry... after I eventually pulled the hood of my sweatshirt down lol.
  • I am becoming more comfortable with singing my own words and I try not to mimic the artists that I usually like to sing along with and just keep my own tone.
  • Started school and so far no mental breakdowns lol.
  • Did not have one panic or anxiety attack.
  • I am beginning to understand what a normal "high" and "low" are.
  • I am trying to breakdown the many walls and barriers I've put up. It's a slow process as I am doing it one brick at a time but I'm trying and that's all that matters.
  • I am determined to stay focused at work. I'm doing much better than I used to but I still need to improve that.
  • I began to force myself to look into a mirror and not cringe or focus on traits that I dislike.
  • I've begun to cook at home and bring my leftovers to work.
  • I'm beginning to set small goals for myself and not flog myself if I don't fulfill them. Rather, I try and focus more on fulfilling the same goal instead of just giving up all together.
Hrmm. That's all I can think of for now but I think that's a pretty good list. I know this post is a little late as it's February 9th (it's going to be a full moon people, prepare for madness) but I'll try and update at the end of the month from now on.

So yeah. There's my review. The end.

2 comments:

Chelsea said...

what's hilarious is that I read your whole last two totally awesome posts and when I got to the para which reads something like "I'm going to set small goals" my mind read "I'm going to sell small goats" I was like huh? shit WTF?! that's crazy!? Who sells small goats?! Weird resolution! Then I read it over. Ohhhh set small goals. Talk about a mental disorder..

Goof to hear from you girly! You been writing?

NerdOneirik said...

lol dude! I should get a small goat!! Yeah I have actually! Nothing big, just my cheesy... um... "story" that is kinda a fan story... ah ha. shhhhhhhhhh