June 12, 2008


Uh… hi Blog! I apologize for neglecting you… once again… but come on; with my track record is that really such a surprise?


So life. It’s a crazy experience that I’m analyzing away which is beyond the realm of acceptable. So I have decided to make a goal and attempt to keep it, which for any of those that know me- STOP LAUGHING. I am going to write in here at LEAST three times a week. That allows four days to slack so that should be enough for my hebetudinous ass (yes, that is a word I recently discovered and am damn proud to use. GO VOCABULARY).

I’ve always fancied myself a composer of stories. Not so much a writer as my literary mechanics can make the sturdiest of English teachers recoil in disgust. Mainly because I almost NEVER proof my work before I hand it in or deem it done. This is a skill I am s-l-o-w-l-y acquiring. To say I am impatient wouldn’t be quite right, but close. I need to get my idea/thoughts out immediately otherwise it recedes back in to the chaos that is my subconscious which is beyond infuriating. When I re-read it I end up editing it into a completely different story/subject. The same happens when I am trying to speak so I interrupt or change the subject which can be just a wee bit irritating to those I engage in conversation. It is a trait I am trying to eradicate, I assure you. But due to my forced lack of filter (aka thinking before I speak) it makes things a bit more complex. As mentioned earlier, I over analyze EVERYTHING but the subject in which I am constantly scrutinizing is myself. This leads to completely illogical problems and insecurities. When I try and ponder what I want to add to a verbal soiree my brain promptly trucks it to Alabama and fucks a pig.

No, really.

Any interesting fact or tidbit I want to contribute is immediately slapped down and I begin to dry heave words and phrases that really, really should have never left my mouth. It gets far, far worse when I am around a person I find attractive. Be it male or female, if I admire them my verbal skills dwindle down to the point where I utter “I get bloody noses”. No lie. That’s one of the first things I said to my ex.

Charming, no?

So I usually to attempt to put my analytical butcher aside and just own my awkwardness. Yeah I talk to trees and hate the noise rubber duckies make because they sound sad to me. Yes, I know a little bit about a lot of things but I find it hard to retain any in-depth knowledge of a subject I have studied at length. Yes I will probably interrupt you but I promise I will recognize that I did and try my damnedest to only do it once. Yes, candy bars are an appropriate way to start the day. On that note, yes I will eventually join the YMCA and stop bitching about my flabby ass. But, anyway, back to the interrupting portion of this nonsensical post. I am striving to stop this because I want people to know that listen. I really do. I love hearing people talk about where they come from or experiences they’ve… experienced (shhh I’m too lazy to use a thesaurus right now). They’re stories and that’s what I live for. Everyone and everything has a story and I’d love to know them all. I can’t promise I will remember them but I’d still like to hear them.

So, yeah. Three times a week of my mental vomit and fanatical musings. I can TASTE your eagerness. Also, I want to put a picture up I’ve taken in at least one of the posts because damn it I’m becoming proud of my pictures. I don’t alter them in photoshop or gimp but that’s something I am interested in learning. Once I karate chop my ass to inspire some motivation. Oh how I loathe the sloth in me. But HA HA! I shall slowly back the laziness out my ear this year for I shall be quarter of a century old soon and I’d like to be able to at least say OMG I COMPLETED A GOAL, ISN’T THAT AWESOME!


I took this when I was in Santa Cruz। I love the colors and I love sunsets sooooooooo BADDA BOOM BADA BANG. There you have it.

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