November 14, 2008

Attack of the Future Thanksgiving Meal!

*dramatic sigh* Yes, I was attacked by wild turkeys.

Ok, ok so I was in a car but it was still a traumatic experience nonetheless. My friend Nomi and I went hiking at… um… some place that I don’t remember the name of and on our way back we decided to try a “new” route on the way back, aka we got lost. So we're meandering around on this giant fricken hill, staring at the weird houses that you park ON TOP OF and we round a bend and BAM a dude turkey and his harem were chilling in the middle of the road. Our only response at the time was “Holy fuck bubbles” and Nomi bouncing up down demanding I get my camera out. We slowly crept up on the flock and I oh-so casually rolled down my window and began my best pavarazzi impression.

Mister Turkey was not amused.

He gobbled at us quite menacingly and came right up to the window while, of course, we started squealing in fear and laughing hysterically. Cause you know, turkeys can totally peck through glass and the noise they make - you can’t help but giggle but also get a little scared. Mister Turkey then started to round up the lady turkeys conveying that he wanted them to jump on the roof of the house they were in front of (*note - we were so surprised to see them due to the incredibly populated area. We weren’t out in the middle of nowhere; we were on a giant hill covered with houses. Kinda like a sundae covered with sprinkles). One of the hens took a liking to me and came up to the window and was all like “Hey girl, what’s up?”. Methinks Mister Turkey got a little jealous and all but butted her ass out of the road. The following photos recap our terrifying event:

I got some pretty awesome shots of the trail we were hiking on (*note - I am not a photographer by any means. None of my photos are photoshopped in any way. I’d rather you see something like I see it and not enhanced). Though I think Nomi was ready to throttle me due to the fact I was stopping every five seconds to get a shot. Some of my rad shots (*I am becoming Notey McNoterson) if you click on the photos it should take you to my flickr page where more of them are - WOO WOO!):

All in all there was much discovery of stuff and things.


Patrick said...

A few years back in Terra Linda, CA I was confronted by a tyrannical gang of turkeys myself. Infact this gang obstructed my ablity to go to work. There was a small bike path connecting from where I parked and my office building. Turkey dude and his vixens were not all to happy I wanted to walk through them. Nor did i really want to, these turkeys were twice the size of the frozen ones in your local market. I waited untill they moved on but they did not forget me. oh no! They climbed to the top of the hill behind my building and dive bombed us. Who knew wild turkeys can fly, well not me. Not until they jumped off the hill side, glided through the air until they took a sharp U-turn, aimed themselfs directly at our third story windows, and BAM! Busted glass everywhere and live but wounded 30 pound turkey gobbling on my co-workers keyBoard.

Turkeys are no joke! To this day, I like mine deep fried.

NerdOneirik said...

lol! Turkeys are hardcore yo!

chelsea said...

Holy crap! That big ass turkey looked ready to rumble. He had death on his mind, revenge perhaps. Sweeet revenge. A pack of wild turkeys strolled on down the street last year when I was living in the hellhole whose inhabitants call Dayton, WA. It was weird, there were probably ten million of them, okay maybe just ten, waltzing down the sidewalk. I took pictures but they weren't nearly as IN YOUR FACE as your sweet shots. Now I'm going to be unable to eat turkey this year. It's Reindeer Balls for me I guess. (reindeer balls are a sweet potatoe recipe I invented for my vegetarian sister, so she couldhave something at Thanksgiving with no traces of THAT GUY in there.)

chelsea said...

PS. Blog is lookin' sweet. So much easier on the eyes.

Paddym22 said...

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lena said...

That's a huge turkey!

One of my favorite hiking spots has an abundance of wild turkeys, but they're never so aggressive. They usually just keep their distance. Perhaps you encountered an alpha male turkey who was protecting his territory? Is there such a thing? Do turkeys do that?

chelsea said...

Come on, It's Monday. give us a little eye and brain candy, sista!

Tanya said...

I totally got chased by a bunch of turkeys when I was a kid. These were mean Russian farmland turkeys, too. They were GIGANTIC. Or they at least seemed to be so, as I was only about 7 or 8 years old then. It was a pretty terrifying experience - that mad gleam in their eyes, the soft "gobble gobble" warbling in their little waddles, as they slowly moved their crazy claw-feet towards me. Then they started running after me. FUUUUUCK.

NerdOneirik said...

In Soviet Russia the turkeys eat you!